Sunday, February 9, 2014

February 6, 2014 - LETTER NUMERO DOS

This MTC experience is like nothing one can possibly get across in words. I love it here.
This week was full of some of the hardest days of my life and some of the best days. .... These are loooong days but they are full of the most amazing miracles. ....

This week started with a trip to Vegas to pick up our visas. WOOT. We had to be at the chapel at  4:30 in the morning (ouch) and we drove the airport. ....  I talked to so many and always was sure to mention that me and all the kids I was with were out to teach others about Christ. I met all sorts of interesting people and it was so much fun. .... 

We then went to the Mexican Consulate and sat in the waiting for FOREVER. And the grouchy old Elder dude wouldn't let us talk! It was painful. Everyone there was speaking spanish and it was then that i realized I really know zero spanish. .... 

I am growing to love my new district of Hermanas SO MUCH. They are so loving and I really feel like God put me in this district to help them. I have become particularly close with Hermana Fullmer and the other day we were laughing and walking to our class and she said "Oh Hermana Matesen I just don't know if I could've survived the MTC without you. I can laugh with you and it's saved my life here!"
I'm where God needs me to be.

On Monday night me and my companion had the opportunity to teach some real life people at the TRC ..... The people we were teaching were obviously lost and confused and I had no idea what they were trying to say and I kept forgetting the words I had practiced to say and overall it was just a trainwreck. I felt so inadequate. I felt so discouraged. I had forgotten the tune of the hymn we tried to sing, forget the word for build for faith which was the whole message of our lesson ..... 

As we walked home in the cold tears of frustration and disappointment rolled down my face. I felt so discouraged. These TRC lessons are supposed to be the easiest teaching experience we get here. I got home and fell to my knees. I prayed so hard. I prayed for God to help me. To hear me. Ayudame. Help me. And then came the peace. I know this is hard and I know God knows this is hard. But I know that He knows that I can do this. 

I am capable of so much more than I can even imagine and God knows that. When I was reading my scriptures the other day I came across the scripture Mosiah 26:38. I read it and thought wow those missionaries were walking with diligence but with all that persecution and all those trials that just doesn't look very fun. Then I looked in the footnotes and there it said 'walking with God.'

When times get tough, when the trials of life hit us in the face like a ton of bricks I think of this phrase. When we're walking through the freezing cold in the early early morning  and studying for hours in the late night I think of that phrase. I may be walking a difficult path but I am not alone. I am walking with God. It brings tears to my eyes and joy to my soul to know that. He walks with all of us and when the way gets too rough he carries us. I know it. I can feel it. This is true.

Yesterday I was sitting in the cafeteria eating dinner ..... and a ton of the new missionaries came flooding in. " They all look so well rested!" said hermana Ridge and we all laughed. As I talked to some of the missionaries and as I tried to make everyone feel welcomed and loved I realized that I was in their shoes exactly 2 weeks ago.

I don't even feel like the same person! I realized how much I've changed. Every night as I lay in my bed I can feel that I am changed. Changed for the better. I slowly but surely becoming my best self. I'm becoming everything God knows I'm capable of being. It's not easy but it's beautiful.

I was thinking about it the other day and the sentence I use most in lessons is "Porque Dios nos ama..." Because God loves us. Everything we have and everything that can be ours is because God loves us. 

Oh my goodness and good golly gosh the CHURCH IS TRUE. I want to dance down the streets and yell it a the top of my lungs! JOY guys. This is true JOY.

Hermana Matesen              

P.S.  Bought a big block of cheese at the mini creamery by my house so I could eat crackers and cheese and I thought of Grampie. We must be related.

 Feasting on the words of Christ...

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